The STK experience

We were told that before we can transfer my car to our name we needed to take it to "STK". Upon bringing the car there, a man would apparantly look at it to see that we have the current emissions sticker, sign a document and away we go. Well... it went something like that.

We found an STK center just outside of town. So, on Friday, it was my assignment to get this task crossed off of the to-do list. My first question was: What is "STK"? I didn't really get that question answered until I went to the center. I entered the office, and in the best Czech I could muster I uttered, "Prosim, Mluvite Anglicky?" (Please, do you speak English?). Office Girl shook her head, went to the back room and retrieved "English-speaking Man" who quickly clarified that he only speaks "a little English". I asked him to explain STK to me. He said it's an Emissions and Technical Control and asked me to move my car to the parking area and wait and then he quickly disappeared. I was a bit confused by the system for waiting and determining who is next. After watching and waiting I realized there is no number system, there is no line forming, everyone just parks in the parking lot, remembers who was there before they arrived and politely wait until their turn to pull into the garage for testing.

As I was sitting and waiting, I realized that in the garage, they were performing an emissions test on the cars. I called Brandon who confirmed that we did not need the emissions test, only "technical control". So, I went back into the office with the hope of asking "English-Speaking Man" ("ESM") how I go about only getting Technical Control. To my dismay, ESM was nowhere to be found. For some reason Office Girl felt that she could assist me in instantly learning Czech by attempting to explain the process in Czech. When she accepted that this was going nowhere, she had me follow her to another office area where she and two other Czech men again felt they could be successful in communicating with me in Czech. Then Office Girl just turned to me and told me "Momento, Auto" ("Go wait in your car").

I waited patiently for my turn, pulled into the garage, handed my papers to the test guys and immediately stated that I speak English. Again... doesn't matter. He looks at my papers, and starts telling me something in Czech. When I again say "Mluvim Anglicky" (I speak English) he decides he'll get his collegue to come over and explain it to me... IN CZECH! They keep trying, I keep stating "Nerozumim" ("I don't understand"). Finally, I called a Czech friend to converse with them and get things straightened out. She asks me where we ever got this idea that we need STK because our emissions test is up to date. I tell her the dealer said we needed only Technical Control but that the STK people didn't understand me. The Czech men took me back into Office Girl, who miraculously was able to produce "ESM" once again. "Ah", he explains to me, while looking at me like I was silly for thinking I needed the emissions test. "You do not need Emissions. Only Technical Control." Finally, my message has gotten through!!! ESM followed me outside to my car, looked it over for 5 minutes maximum, signed the papers, I went in and payed my 250 Czech Crowns ($10) and I was off.

Cross it off the list! At one point, the thought occurred to me that I would be no worse off if these people were communicating with me in sign language.