Squat-a-pot

In most public places, the toilets look like this:

(Photo downloaded from the internet because when I took out my camera to take my own photo, Lydia quickly stopped me and said, "No Mommy, No! Don't take a picture of that because that would be very gross!" She had a point.)

Mastering the technique of using one of these is so overwhelming that an entire article exists online for your practice and preparation.

Lydia is starting to get the hang of it, as long as I am present to assist with her balance. I have managed to avoid the experience so far and have been known to "hold it" for well over 2 hours in lieu of facing up to the challenge.

How to Use a Squat Toilet in China
By Sara Naumann, About.com (slightly edited)

Difficulty: Average
Time Required: Variable

Here's How:
Pack Tissues. Make sure you've got portable toilet paper with you. Lots of public restrooms don't provide it. Wet wipes and hand sanitizer are also good to have along as if there's a sink, there may not be any soap, and probably no towels either.

Plan Your Business 1. "Preventive Peeing" or going before you go is a good way to avoid getting caught in a place that won't have a nice toilet. Pretend you're all five years old and make sure everyone goes before you leave the house.

Plan Your Business 2. If you're going to be out and about, think about where you'll be and try to plan some pit-stops in between.

Bag Hand-Off. If you can, hand any unnecessary bags to a friend while you use the washroom. There are generally no hooks and you'll need your hands to balance, to dig around your purse for tissues and to hold on to the door if the lock is broken.

Queuing Up.Queues in China don't work the same way as they do in the States. Women generally line up in front of a particular stall rather than hang back as one opens. This can create a free-for-all so it's best to stick to one door and keep your eye on it. Also, check the lock, if it's red, then it's occupied. Green means free but always knock.

Pants Check. Some washrooms are rather wet - either from splash effect or the toilet maid (usually there is someone assigned to sit in the washroom and clean it) running amok with her mop. Either way, it's not moisture you want on your new linen trousers. If it's wet, roll them up, especially if you're in line for a squat toilet. If you see other Chinese ladies rolling, then be sure to. They know something you don't.

The Squat. OK, well, you've found yourself in a squatty potty. It's really not that bad and many argue it's actually healthier to go this way than sitting down. Whatever, if you're not used to it, squatting can be really difficult. Face forward and try to let your pants down while ensuring that the ends are up (hopefully you've rolled) and not touching the floor. There are grooved places for your feet on either side of the toilet. Try to get somewhere in the middle, feet flat on the floor (you don't want to fall in, believe me) and aim for the potty.

Paper Discard - Not in the Pot! Chinese plumbing in public restrooms generally doesn't handle paper. If you can remember, please put anything other than #1 or #2 in the basket. Try as hard as you can NOT to look at the basket, it's usually open and teeming with things on which you'd rather not lay eyes.

Finish Up. Out you go, you accomplished squat toilet user. Unroll your pants, wash your hands, if you can, and find your friends waiting for you outside.

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There now, doesn't that sound fun?!?!